And so it is ephemeral beer that we brew. And ephemeral is the beer that we brewed. And consumed. I recount an abbreviated version of what was what here in the event that what was should never amount to what should never have been.

The first batch was a hodge-podge mish-mash of brewing education. It was dark, malty, and full of information for future batches of brew. For that batch, we were neophytes, covered in smiles. Batches 2 through 5 have been more careful studies in American Pale Ale. We read this book, and you should too. Even if you are uninterested in brewing, there is something subtly refined and maniacally articulate about this book.

• Batch 2 (APA 1) saw the introduction of secondary fermentation. Supplies were purchased in a more fresh fashion from reputable online retailers. Wort Chillers were acquired.
• Batch 3 (APA 2) was a much more highly hopped version of Batch 2 (APA 1). Batch 2 was delicious. A veritable masterpiece of our own brewing intellect.
• Batch 4 (APA 3) differed in the amount of malt extract used. We upped it by like 50% in hopes of boosting the difference between original and final gravities, and thereby boosting the alcohol content. We succeeded. Delicious.
• Batch 5 (APA 4) is a bastard variety American Pale Ale. Our efforts to brew batch 5 (APA 4), were thwarted on several occasions. The concept was to add some partial mash to the extract. Among the wildcards: the original yeast turned up DOA at pitching time, the ingredients sat untouched in the crisper drawer for 4 weeks, et cetera multa. Batch 5 (APA 4), however is currently delicious. Darker than the others, a tad sweet, but potable "to the extreme".

There were learnings galore from Batch #1...

First, we are going to order all of our supplies from the various, quality online brokers of brewing merchandise.  The local offering was lackluster, insufficient, and wholly devoid of Brewing Chutzpah.  We'll be ordering from any one of the following merchants: Midwest | More Beer | Northern | Hoptech |.

Second, secondary fermentation will take effect . Secondary fermentation, unfortunately, adds two (fucking) weeks to the process.  Given the extended (i.e. "advanced") brewing times, I set about developing a brewing schedule that would maximize our time.  The first "go 'round" included some aspect of the brewing process in every weekend.  I adjusted this first attempt, however, after learning the following 2 things:  1) My original schedule would not allow input from previous batches to affect future brewing processes, and 2) My original schedule called for complex weekends where Dave and I would simultaneously drink, brew, and rack previously brewed beer into a secondary fermenter.  Anyway, I weighed all the options, and honed the schedule to produce the best outcome.  The result is meticulously (anally?) captured here. intimcity .

Third, BUY A WORT CHILLER GODDAMMIT!   Seriously, buy one.  I cannot stress this imperative enough.  The Wort Chiller cut cooling times down from 150 minutes to under 30.  Go on.  Get it.

The first pours came around 7:00 pm.  Pretty good head (that's what she said).  Something to note:  the beer is extremely dark.  We did some improvising on the malt extract, and what happened is that we went too damn dark.  So what started as a pale ale, ended up as a dark crapshoot ale.

So, like I said, we poured some beer; and we poured it into the new 30-ounce glassware that we picked up the other weekend at the beach.  God bless the outlet malls!  The glasses were an extraordinary find (Go Dave Go!).  Just about the same height as your typical American pint glass, but a tad-bit thicker around the base (that's what she said) and around the rim.

So anyway, we poured and it was dark and the head was "pretty good".  Next, we sat in the living room, and we quaffed.  We did not quaff hard, nor did we quaff timidly.  We quaffed the proper quaffification, the perfect quaff, turn-your-head-and quaff (that's what the doctor said).

First, it is a very good thing drinking the thing that you've been making.  You may have experienced such a feeling when, as a child, you made your own Kool-Aid from a package of powder and half a pitcher of sugar.  The enjoyment of the brew was similar, but better for the following three reasons:

1. There were 20 days from start to finish, and the excitement of anticipation fed the taste-buds
2. The brew was quaffed from sturdy, 30-ounce glassware
3. It was beer

To recap:  beer=crapshoot ale; beer dark; beer made in pot in kitchen.

Here is the official summary of the tasting experience:

• It was a little "dry", with a muted aftertaste.
• The hop character was not terribly in-force.
• Somewhat malty and thin, but with a very complex style (as compared with store-bought beers).
• The body gained fullness as the glass emptied, due most likely to the rising temperature of the beer.
• Every bottle tasted different.
• My second bottle produced a beer that was incredibly delicious.
• The third was a bit more flat and thin, and so on.
• With a 30-ounce glass, the last bit comes in at room temperature.

That was it.  The first tasting experience.  Here's to many more upcoming, better brews, et cetera.  I close with a list of learnings acquired from the initial experience.  Elements that I will try to apply to the coming batches:

• The color of the extract should match the style of the brew
• Boil the maximum amount of water
• Use a wort chiller
• More hops, more hops, and more hops
• More malt extract
• In the future, brew with Dave's water
• The first final gravity reading should be the last final gravity reading
• Mark the bottles to indicate which were bottled first and which were bottled last

1. Fill brewpot with 2 gallons of steamy hot water
2. Place brewpot on medium-high heat
3. Fill 10 - 12 22-oz Legend bottles up to the shoulders with steamy hot water
4. Set 10 - 12 filled bottels upright in the brewpot. Water displacement should force the water level above the top of all Legend labels
5. Let bottles sit for 7 - 9 minutes
6. Remove bottles and let cool for a minute or so
7. Peel the shit off slowly, taking care to remove the glue with the label

The final gravity of our beer was a disappointing 1.018. ABV will come in just slightly north of 4%.

Later, Dave arrived and we immediately soaked all 30 bottles in a chlorified solution -- 1 TBSP clorox for each gallon of water. Next, we set out to buy unflavored Gelatin and 4 feet of clear tubing. We returned and immediately boiled 2 small pots of water (2 cups in each). To the first pot we added 2/3 cup of priming sugar to the boiling water. Once the sugar was dissolved, we removed this pot from the heat. We boiled the second pot for about 10 minutes, reduced the heat, and added 1 packet (1/4 oz) of unflavored gelatin. After these two solutions were complete, we racked 2 gallons of wort from the carboy into the bottling bucket. Then we added the sugar solution and the gelatin solution, before siphoning the remaining usable wort into the bottling bucket. In all, I think we prepared about 4 and 1/3 gallons of wort for bottling. Finally Dave put the stuff in the bottles, and I put the caps on tight. 24 bottles @ 22 oz per bottle = 528 oz = 17 quarts = 4.25 gallons. aspire screens

Here are some observations:

• Get a bottling wand. It was, as we were lead to believe, supremely, magnificiently useful
• You will get beer on the floor and the dishwasher and also on your lip during this process
• There will be nowhere near 5 gallons of liquid in the bottling bucket. This is due to the amount of crap, er, "trub" that collects on the bottom of the fermenter
• When cleaning the carboy, you will at some point be confronted by a nasty smell, a smell which Dave described thus: "You know when you drink too much beer and then 2 hours later you puke? Yeah. It smells like that"

The lack of bubble activity is a little bit troubling, as there have been only 3 full days since the pitching of the yeast, but my concerns, like my intellectual capacities, are limited.  I performed a little clean-up session this evening.  After sterilizing my utensils, and a small square of aluminum foil, I removed the airlock, and a tubefull of the incipient beer in the carboy.  I then placed the aluminum foil as a cover over the mouth of the carboy while I took a reading of the specific gravity of "baby beer".  1.020.  Still far too high for bottling.  The recipe calls for 1.014 - 1.018, but I wouldn't mind seeing it go all the way down to 1.012.  This is a problem better handled by Dave (the brains behind the beer). торговые стратегии форекс

Anyhoo, after taking the reading, I drank half of the beer-to-be from the hydrometer tube, and poured the other half into a juice glass, and then put the glass into the refrigerator for a quick chilling (Once, a long time ago, I had a spot in my freezer called the "Super Freeze Cubes").  Next I thoroughly cleaned the leftover, dried kraeusen from inside the airlock.  Finally, I dried, refilled and replaced the airlock, gave the carboy a good swirling (and a good talking to), and then measured the time between bubbles . One bubble every three minutes. 180 seconds = another bubble.  I would have taken more readings, but I don't have that kind of time...

I hope my illness doesn't somehow pervade the homebrew.  All this time and energy spent keeping all the little tools clean will have been wasted if something as ill as my illness were to somehow invade the carboy.

Tonight I shall order the Wort Chiller, and the ingredients for the next batch, the recipe for which Dave has uncovered (after what sounds like a great deal of searching) in one of his secret sources.  That Dave, he's full of good ideas...

Before I left this morning, I noted that the foam was up to the butt-plug-style stopper, and when I returned, soaking wet, from the golf course, there were 2 or 3 sizeable dollops of sludgy brown bubbles on the shoulders of the carboy.  I am not sure what the heavy foaming indicates, or how best to handle the foam-airlock situation.  Answering these questions will take some research, but my early intuition tells me that this batch of beer will be very good.  We may be ready to bottle as early as Saturday, and, if we are good to go anytime this weekend, I am going to angle for brewing batch #2 just after bottling batch #1. Send your comments, recipes, et alia to the brewspaper.

Last night Dave and I collected several more bottles and added these to the store which will eventually hold our brew.  The 22-oz bottles cost between $2.39 and $2.99 apiece, and come filled with different varieties of Legend Beer.  While it is certainly not our intention to drink said beer, we must nevertheless collect the bottles, so we are forced into a position of drinking.  It is uncomfortable for everybody.  We now have 73 bottles.  Once we have 90, we will be able to have on hand 3 batches of homebrew (in various stages of process and potability) at any given time.  That is our modest dream.

We bought a bunch of crap early this afternoon to get started.  We already had the main stuff:  the brew pot and the carboy.  Everything else that we would need, we got today at a funky little shop called The Compleat Gourmet.  Their selection of homebrew supplies was minimal, as are our current offline retail options.  So, while we walked in with a firm plan and a concrete recipe, we walked out humbly with whatever ingredients were to be had.  My previous, limited experiences in homebrewing, however, lead me to believe that our first batch will be quite successful.

Anyway, much has traspired and there is a commensurate amount to be relayed.  I think I shall keep a record of relevant links over there, as well as some of the information on the batches of brew, and how they are coming.  In addition, I will try to set up a separate page for each batch to describe fully what, when, where, who, how, and WTF.

So, in addition to other aspects of the 'socket, there are many things to be done.  Now I shall do some of them, in the half-assed manor that you have come to expect, respect, and indeed cherish.  Who loves you, baby?

In addition, they say that if you have city or county water, you can get a free profile of your water.  They are smart and know lots of stuff about beer.  Anyway, I got my water's profile here.  I was delightfully distracted by this in the course of my search.

In general, Cocksocket loves its fans, so, if you are a fan, you are entitled to something of our brewing processes.  If you are small time, consider this page to be yo' gift.  If you are a big fan, though, then you are entitled to some actual beer (not that we will be sellin' it or transportin' across any state "lines" mindya).

Anyhoo, that is a long way off.  Until then, I'll just try and keep you informed about the process.  Text on this side, and pictures and shit over on the other side.  Or something like that.