05.18.02

MID SUMMER SPORTS BEAT

Mom, are we moving?

It has been reported that the Indianapolis Colts are discussing a move out of Indianapolis.

The highlights I saw had Bill Polian (Colts General Manager) saying that the organization was disappointed that not all of the suites had sold out, and the arena does not have enough suites.

What? How can you not have enough of something that your potential clients don't want?
Why do you need a larger stadium to start winning football games?
How does the size of a stadium have any thing to do with fan turnout, the success of the team, or you decision to stay in Indianapolis?

Apparently, Polian visited the new Texans facility and was enamored by its facilities. The things that are missing from the reports on this are:

When the Colts moved to Indianapolis, citizens were taxed an additional 1% on prepared food purchases to pay for the RCA Dome.
The Dome was paid off several years ago, yet the tax remains.

Last time I checked, Colts' players were paid the average for players in the NFL of equal skill.
We have yet to even smell a Superbowl appearance.

I know where the owner of the Colts lives, he is not in a run-down shack with blankets doubling as curtains.
It is a gated estate on several acres of land and he was recently turned down for a permit to land his personal helicopter in his yard due to neighbor complaints.

If you want to move your team to a "larger market", feel free. We don't really want you here anymore. It is the same shit every few years with you people and all of the former fans are sick of it and you. That is why your suites aren't sold out.
That and the $40,000/year price tag.

01.26.02

Superbowl, baby!!!

The Las Vegas bookies have St. Louis winning by two touchdowns. INCORRECT! The outcome will be either greater or less than 14 points. However, St. Louis will win.

Pittsburgh has gone and done it. Every year, one team completely disappoints me. This year, several teams have shit on my parade. Pittsburgh, Tennessee, Indianapolis, New Orleans, and San Diego all had fun at my expense. I shall be vindicated next year.

I must say, the NBA sucks. The only thing worth watching is Mark Cuban. He has brought the "every man" back to professional sports.

01.26.02

When last we spoke, Bill Parcells was all set to take over the coaching of Tampa Bay. But now, he has changed his mind and decided to remain retired. So now Tampa has no coach, no prospects, and is the laughing stock of the NFL. Rumors abound that Jon "Chucky" Grunden will leave Oakland for Tampa Bay. These are only rumors. Chucky said he will be in Oakland next year.

Indianapolis has hired the former Tampa coach, Tony Dungy. 5 years - $12.5 million.

Several things happened last weekend on national television. Oakland was fucked, Baltimore was bitch slapped by Pittsburgh, and St. Louis shot their load all over Green Bay.

Pat Summerall is leaving John Madden. I don't think I would be able to leave Madden without first hanging him upside-down and beating him like a piñata. I just have an over-whelming feeling that Madden has a marshmallow center.

01.19.02

With each passing day, another coach gets the axe. Marty Schottenheimer has been fired and Steve Spurrier has been named the new head coach of Washington. Tony Dungy has been fired and Bill Parcells will be getting the nod in Tampa Bay. Dungy should be named the head coach of Indianapolis, San Diego, or Carolina within two weeks. My vote, Indianapolis, and bring Sapp with you.

01.12.02

Regular season football is over and the annual "Point-The-Finger" season has begun.

So far (1-09-2002) only 2 coaches have been fired:

•  Jim Mora (Indianapolis Colts 6-10)
• George Seifert (Carolina Panthers 1-15)

However, Washington Redskins (8-8) are supposedly talking with Steve Spurrier about taking the head coaching position leaving Marty Schottenheimer jobless, penniless, and no one will ever love him.

Mike Shanahan has announced that he will be staying with the Denver Broncos (8-8) after talking with the University of Florida about possibly replacing Steve Spurrier. Broncos owner Pat Bowlen replied after hearing Shanahan's announcement, "As long as Mike wants to be the head coach here in Denver, he will be the head coach here in Denver."

Aside from those tid-bits, there is not much interesting shit on the sports scene. Captain, back to you.

01.06.02

You want some fucking picks? I got your fucking picks! Get ready to be fisted in ways only imaginable by those familiar with Thor's hammer. These picks are so fresh you'll need a knife to cut the cellophane.

Before all of that shit, is anyone else disturbed by the way that Jaws (007 fame) runs in the "Gold Jacket" scene of Happy Gilmore? His arms move up and down in a "milking the very large cow" type of motion. This sequence has always bothered me.

Onto the crazy-fucking-suck-a-mojo-and-the-mojo's-bride football picks.

12.19.01

I feel I must apologize for my poor, yet timely, sports beats from weeks of late (Week 14 being skipped was not my doing). The only viable explanation is, I have been busy. And seeing as how this job pays nothing in monetary values and my other undertakings do pay in monetary values, I traveled the dark and dangerous path toward financial wealth. But alas I have emerged lean, mean, and ready to glisten.

With the missed week, some of this info is dated but needs to be read anyway.

Major League Baseball's commissioner, Bud Selig, met in front of a House judiciary committee to discuss baseball being a monopoly. Selig basically to the House, "How could we be a monopoly when we are losing money?". My opinion, MLB is a monopoly and any franchise owner who claims to be losing money, is a liar. Team books will be opened soon and all the answers will fall out.

Mike Tyson has agreed to fight Lennox Lewis in April. I am making my prediction now:
Lennox Lewis by knock-out.

I wish to gloat a little bit about my early season comments on Michael Jordan making a comeback.
I told you so.

Two-time America's Cup winner, Peter Blake, was killed by pirates near Amazon. Real-life pirates boarded his ship and killed him. The local law enforcement is quoted as saying "They were probably attracted by the boat's shiny appearance." Apparently if you are attacked by pirates, they are distracted by shiny objects. This bit of information should help you make a safe get-away.

Roger Penske has decided to abandon CART for the 2002 season and turn his 3 car team into an IRL effort. Here is the dilemma. The IRL was created to help smaller teams be competitive. When teams such as Penske enter the races, you are back to where you were before the IRL/CART split. Roger Penske will always have more money and better equipment than any small team no matter what limits you put on the entrants.

I have reserved my comments on the new Monday Night Football crew until I was sure they were genuine. I will now voice these opinions as if I were in the broadcast booth.
Al, I do hate Dennis Miller. He adds absolutely nothing to the broadcast, Al. And Al, Dan is not much better. Al, he informs us of things like: "Al, the guy lined up behind the center is the quarterback. The play can not begin until the ball is passed between the legs of the center, Al, and into the hands of the quarterback." No shit, Dan. Now Al, Melissa is O.K. but she is unsure of herself, Al. Eric Dickerson, or should I say Ebik Dibersun, has a serious annunciation issue, Al. Al, maybe you should look into this, Al. granite countertops san jose ca

Randy Moss is an asshole who should not be allowed to walk onto a football field ever again.

Cleveland threw a pass that was ruled complete on the field and one play later, overturned by the mysterious "man upstairs". I have seen the taped repeatedly, my opinion, the pass was complete. Either way, you can not review a play after the next play has started. The following play was finished before the previous play was reviewed and overturned. This caused the fans to become irate and throw their drinks on the field and at the officials. Now everyone is saying how the fans were "out of control". They were not out of control, they merely understand the rules of the game better than the officials and had only one course of action to voice their opinion.

Monday night had a similar incident on a much smaller scale. This out-break was not justified and was just a bunch of drunks trying to emulate faceless ambassadors to the sport. This was just the start of the Saints melt-down including a 1st and goal on the 4 that ended up, after all penalties were assessed, as a 2nd and goal from the 37 yard line.

New Orleans had a burglar amidst their lockers. Albert Connell was caught on video surveillance, stealing money from rookie Deuce McAllister's locker. Connell signed a five-year, $14 million contract in March 2001 and was paid $1.5 million of his $2.5 million bonus at that time. The remaining $1 million was to be paid in three installments in 2002. Does he really need to steal lunch money from anyone? Area police are looking into the allegations and charges could and should be brought against Connell.

12.12.01

12.05.01

The god of football picks is a fickle beast.

I haven't much time to research and put forth my normal glowing sport's beat. So this will, again, be a condensed version. Sunday I was working on a network conversion and saw 2 full seconds of football. I was able to catch one quarter of the Monday night game.

Brett Favre has made rumblings about "not having the arm anymore". Watch highlight tapes of Monday night's game and you can clearly see the arm is not a problem. There may, however, be a depth perception problem. I have never seen a quarterback throw so many passes that were 2-3 yards off the mark.

11.28.01

I have been sick for several days now with anthrax-like symptoms. Having had approximately 8 hours sleep in the past 4 days, this is all I have. Besides, I am really fucking bad at this.

Week 11 quotes:

Motivational post-game speech from Jim Mora. (Indianapolis head coach)

• "Playoffs? Don't talk about playoffs. Are you kidding me. Playoffs? I'm just hoping we can win a game, another game."
• "That was a disgraceful performance. We threw that game away. We gave them the game. It was pitiful, absolutely pitiful."

Marty Mornhinweg (Detroit head coach) explains team's goals.

• "Our goal is to go 6-10, period. This football team has been through seven down-to-the wire crazy games. It's getting a little crazy at this point."

Tony Banks (Washington quarterback) tells all how great it feels to be back to mediocre.

• "The atmosphere was electrifying. It was like the playoffs. To get to 5-5 and back to mediocrity -- I'm not saying we're mediocre because we're better than that, but that's what the record is -- there's a lot of football to be played."

Corey Fuller (Cleveland cornerback) explains what it takes to have a shut-out.

• "I went to the sideline and said, 'Let's shut them out'. We weren't really worried about them scoring a touchdown after that."

11.20.01

Well another week another ass kicking. I tied with Mrs. Dave so that makes me a woman. I am interested to know if Dave honestly agreed with Mrs. Dave's picks. Sure he'll say no now, but that is just to make himself look larger.

The NFL officials are in dire need of training. After I spoke on their behavior during the contract negotiations, they show their appreciation by making errant calls against me two weeks in a row.

Week 9 they totally fucked up the Tennessee game with their "Oh, wait. It's not a touchdown." and in week 10, a poor call on a well planned fake spike denies Indianapolis a shot at winning.

Lesson for officials. When the quarterback spikes the ball and it actually leaves his hand and collides with the playing field, then you should blow the whistle. However, when a quarterback "fakes" a spike and the ball does not leave his hands and does not touch the playing field, the play should be allowed to continue. Also, unless you are actually in a position to see the ball exit his hands and hit the playing field, you should probably let the whistle dangle from your neck and not allow your breath to pass through the plastic housing. Failing to do so will result in you changing the outcome of the game and looking absolutely stupid on television.

Aside from football. Lennox Lewis and Hasim Rahman had their rematch. Lewis beat the shit out of Rahman in the fourth round. This was a rematch to the fight where Rahman beat Lewis to claim the championship belt. This also follows Rahman calling Lewis gay and Lewis responding with "I'll show your sister how gay I am." This now proves that if Lewis really wants to show Rahman's sister anything, there is not much Rahman can do about it. Please remember Lennox, no one at Cocksocket has or ever will call you gay. Please don't come over and show our sisters anything.

Lewis now wants to fight Mike Tyson. This could be a good fight if Tyson is able to keep his hands off the white girls, eat before (not during) the fight, and learn how to talk trash without mentioning eating anyone's children or other family members.

11.14.01

I suck. Stop reading this now and go about the rest of your day knowing that you have not cluttered your fragile psyche with any misled information extruded from the extremely deep caverns of shit I call Matt's Sports Beat. Just to reiterate, I suck.

For those of you who wish to endanger your fiscal well-being, I present week 10.

My actual record for week 9 should contain an asterisk. Tennessee won the Monday night game. There was a 7 minute pow-wow after the Titans scored the game winning touchdown, at the last second, to decide if anyone could pull some out-dated obscure rule from their ass to say Tennessee had in fact not scored. Evidently, someone had a very obscure ass full of rules.

Apparently, if the defense wants to run down the clock, they can just loiter around on the wrong side of the ball and have an off-sides called on them which negates the play and the ruling on the field. My understanding of the rule is that the offense is in charge of the clock. If the offense is lined up and proceeds with the play, that is the play. If there is an off-sides penalty to be assessed and the play is not blown dead before the play is over, the offense can accept or decline the penalty. According to NFL officials, I am wrong.

With 3 seconds left, after the officials decided that was the amount of time remaining, Tennessee has one last chance. This is where Tennessee and I differ. You are 6" from the goal line. Eddie George is on the field and on your team. Eddie George is 6'5" tall. Eddie George could have laid down and scored the touchdown from the 2 yard line easy. Give Eddie the fucking ball. (inner monologue of Jeff Fisher) "What play should we run? Hmmm...let me think. OH!! I've got it!! We will do the exact same play we just ran since that is what the defense is expecting. Maybe Billick is thinking I won't run the same play because he knows that I know that is what he is expecting. Instead he'll pull his guys to the back of the end zone to guard against the pass. God-damn!!! I am so smart. I am inside your head Billick. Your mine now, bitch." Resort bulgarian properties

Indianapolis is very deep shit. Edgerrin James is out for at least two more weeks, maybe the season. Peyton Manning has a fractured jaw. Dominic Rhodes has a jacked up shoulder. Mark Peterson has a tweaked knee. Offense is broken, defense is broken, season is over. I may have to pick against Indianapolis for the first time ever later in the season.

11.07.01

It was a good week in football until the Sunday night game. Thor, a.k.a. Kyle Turley, went into a rage and it became a fantastic week for football.

Now everyone is bitching that Turley lost his cool and went too far. Not me, brother. If anything, he did not take the incident far enough. I was disappointed to see him throw Robinson's helmet into the air only to find out that there was no head was inside. If players are going to make late hits and try to break someone's neck, they should also be willing to have someone like Turley kick the shit out of them. Kyle Turley is my new favorite player of all time and my new personal hero.

Monday night I attended the Indianapolis Colt's Father/Son training camp. I learned several things:

1. Based on my skill level, I will never play in the NFL.
2. Kicking a field goal is very fucking hard.
3. NFL quarterbacks throw very fucking hard.
4. NFL linebackers are very fucking large.
5. Clumsy fat guys wearing shorts and black socks are very fucking funny.

11.01.01

It's A Three-Way Tie!

Dave, the Idiot, and myself all picked at 57.1% for week 7. This feat falls just short of being called interesting.

There is not much sporty stuff to comment on this week so I will use this forum to comment on what matters to me.

Debacle. I am fucking tired of hearing this word. Everyone is using it to make their own grasp of the English language seem greater than that of those to whom they are speaking. And they say it as if no one, including Mr. Webster, has ever heard this syllabic puke uttered. The problem with this is that every fucking wee-brained jackass is using the exact same word.

This is not the first phenomenon of this type. Juggernaut was the word du jour last year. Now it is only used in the local "crazy carpet deals" commercials and during the occasional college football game.

The one word that is not used nearly enough is "bitchin". This is the one instance where the word of the day calendar finally paid its dues. 364 days of total shit and finally "bitchin" appears on your desk.

I spent the weekend on my ass in front of the tv. I watched several "E! True Hollywood Stories" including: Spice Girls, Anna Nicole Smith, and L.A. Law. These could not really keep my attention the way that TLC's "Trading Spaces" marathon could. My mom even stopped by and was immediately sucked into the frivolity of redecorating your neighbor's house. This show is obviously geared towards men. The host and at least one of the decorators is a hot chic, the teams are given a carpenter to share which is usually a hot chic, and the guys that are shown are either gay or really fucking dull so as to boost the egos of the fat dudes watching at home in their boxers. I personally was thinking, "Man, if that bitch was tiling my kitchen floor, I would cram my wiener up in that." Alas, it never happens. play on eclat casino poker game gainings hourly

Anyway, Steelers kicked Tennessee's ass, St. Louis finally showed their mortality, and Flutie proved that he makes shit happen.

10.23.01

It would appear that my gloating and hub-bub-arooing has angered which ever gods gave me my Eighty-fucking-five point seven percent average for week 5. Week 6 will forever be remembered as "The Week Matt and Dave Really Fucked Up". I wish to apologize to those of you who use my picks as your main source of income. It appears you will need to tighten your belts and pawn your class ring.

I have much to say so listen close.

• The Indianapolis Colts are in full suck mode. My opinion is this: the problems are not offensive and not totally defensive, but the real problem is the coaching. If you are down by more than 20 points in the third quarter and you have a 4th and 2, you have no choice but to go for it. What do the Colts do? They kick a field goal for another whopping 3 points. Excellent choice, but you are still loosing.
  Listen up Mora, you have ,if given a chance, the best offense in the NFL. Let them try for a 4th and long occasionally and definitely let them try for a 4th and 2. If you continue to coach this team "safely", your hopes of every winning a single NFL playoff game are a big fucking 0! If the Colts miss the playoffs this year, Mora should be garbed in a Colt's cheerleader uniform and paraded around Indy while boisterously chanting "I'm a biotch! I'm the NFL biotch!".
• Cleveland laid the smacketh down. Baltimore is starting to show that they are the suck ass team I said they were early in the season.
• The fucking Redskins went and shit all over the only genuine chance we had of seeing a team go 0-16 for the season. It is also rumored that Mister Dan has placed the "For Sale" sign in the window of the team office. I have not heard anything conclusive.
• Green Bay received an ass pounding of significant magnitude. The Vikings, with the help of the Green Bay offensive "line", made Favre their bitch. Again, this seems to be a coaching issue. Brett is a fantastic quarterback who can make plays on the run, but why does he have to scramble on every play? Can't anyone teach this line that they are allowed to block defenders and that they are not cemented in place? Perhaps the coaching staff and the offensive line are sponsoring Brett in some sort of "Scramble For Life" type campaign.
• I would like to speak directly to Kerry Collins for a moment. Who fucking taught you to carry a football? Collins looked like he was holding a shitty diaper and couldn't find the trash can. The Giants had a chance to win this game even in the last minute. Instead Collins rolls out, shuffles around like a girl, and fumbles the only chance of winning. Perhaps he too was distracted by Angie Harmon's presence.
• Huge game in week 7. Buffalo at San Diego. This is the match up as seen by nearly every NFL coach in the league: Flutie 5' 10" Buffalo Bills 369' 8".
  Another thing to prove the Chargers are better than the Bills is their cheerleaders. I mark these two photos, exhibit DD & exhibit C respectively:

10.17.01

Is it possible, the football gods (could have been the Ufutu gods) were smiling down on me this weekend? Tennessee, New England, & San Francisco all pulled out their wins in overtime, Miami looked as if they were going to make a run late in the fourth, and St. Louis made a run late in the fourth to win their closest game yet.

The operation seems to have been a success. Tennessee has finally received the head from ass extraction procedure. If all goes well, improvements should continue through Sunday. Doctors are hopeful.

Everyone had been talking about their unquenchable desire to see really bad football. Monday night, their fantasies were fulfilled. Dallas "destroyed" Washington with their third field goal at the very last second to win 9-7. This was enough for Dallas (1-4) to receive the coveted "we're not the worst" trophy. Washington (0-5) keeps their hopes alive that next year, they could possibly achieve this seeming unattainable honor.

And finally, say it with me:
"EIGHTY-FUCKING-FIVE POINT SEVEN PERCENT".
If you want to touch me, you must go to the end of the line and you must have a ticket.
No exceptions.

10.10.01

The Superbowl is set.  February 3, 2002 in New Orleans.  That is finally decided.

Ty Detmer has shown everyone who are his favorite receivers.  It seems that Ty honestly enjoys throwing to anyone on the opposing team.  So Charlie Batch has been named the starting QB again.

I am going to continue to pick Tennessee in the hopes they will be able to remove their collective head from their collective ass and start playing football.  Before this week's game against Tampa Bay would be a good time to instigate the aforementioned head from ass extraction.

Go Buffalo Go!!!  People always come up to me on the street and ask:  "Matt, how is it you can be so upbeat when your sport's picks are so appalling?"  I respond:  "As long as Buffalo keeps Rob Johnson, I know I will never have a 0-14 week." Buffalo may be the team to end the season 0-16.  Nothing, aside from free beer and/or a harem, would make me happier.

10.03.01

Well, I sucked again this week.  It is beginning to appear that all NFL teams are involved in some sort of coup to remove me from my self-proclaimed throne.  It is possible, however unlikely, that I just suck this year and have been basing my picks on nothing more than a bowl full of NFL names and pulling my picks from an oversized punch bowl.  Week 4's turnout should shed some light on the situation.

There is still no word (at the time of this writing) on when or where the Superbowl will be played.  Some people say we should move the game to New York.  I really don't care either way because I have yet to make my plans to attend.

Indianapolis appeared to have fun getting their collective ass kicked.  Every camera shot of Peyton Manning showed a man with a goofy grin on his face.  It's as if he had money on the Patriots.  I am not calling Peyton "Pete Rose", but maybe he should appear somewhat upset when an interception has been made and the scoreboard shows 20 - 0 at the half.

Rob Johnson is still the worst (maybe tied with the unemployable Jeff George).  Doug Flutie is damn good.  Baltimore is still a bad team even with a win against Denver.  Philadelphia is making their trip to the Superbowl in fine fashion, and the Jets still never want to play in the first half.  The only thing that has changed from last year is that Philly is going to the Superbowl and Cleveland, Cincinnati, and Chicago are halfway good

* Pick not from Matt himself, but based on Matt's previous picks

09.27.01

Here is the skinny.  This is again being called week 3 of the NFL.  It is actually week 4, but I think I can cope.  We will play 16 games, but the Superbowl may be moved.  There are people that already have plans for Superbowl weekend, so the date and location should probably not change.

The Buffalo Bills suck.  The Indianapolis Colts don't.  Surprising, Cincinnati, Cleveland, and Chicago are decent teams.  I have two other pickers against me and I still hold my own.  Dave's Pick is a farce.  Created by the man to hold me down.  The Idiot Pick is going below 50% for the year.  This first week with competition will be vindicated by week 15.  I ain't skeered.

I have said it before and I will say it now.  Rob Johnson is a second rate high school junior varsity backup head cheerleader.  Buffalo has shot its dick off by having Flutie leave.  Good job Buffalo this is definitely the road to the Superbowl, with an idiot running the show.  The only people happy with this choice is me and I think the Chargers are quite happy.

Jeff George, the leagues biggest pussy, has lost yet another job.  This is only 18 months after Washington hired the oversized pansy for 18 million dollars.  Good plan General Dan.  Now you still have no quarterback and you are 18 million in the hole.  Sound economics.

09.19.01

This is week 3 / week 2 of the NFL season. There are two ways to deal with the missing games. 

1. Continue the season as scheduled and only play 15 games and then running the regular playoffs with all of the wildcard games. 
2. Skip the wildcard round and play the missed games in the playoff slot.

My personal opinion is to skip the wild card games and play week two's schedule at the end of the season. This is fair to everyone. If they had to miss a game in the last 3 or 4 weeks, then they should run the playoffs as usual and skip the missed week. It's not as if any team starts the season and says "our only chance to get to the Superbowl is to strive for a wild card slot. So go team, go play mediocre football". I don't think any team is currently planning to be a wild card, they have only played one game. All teams will have the same shot to enter the playoffs as division winners. Also, it gives me more football to watch.

09.13.01

Last week sucked for me.  Opening the season with a dismal 40% rating, I now know how Rob Johnson must feel everyday of his life.

I am making this week's picks with the hope that the NFL will decide to continue the schedule as it is currently listed.  My personal feeling is that the terrorists responsible for the New York and Pentagon attacks, will be dead before this weekend.

UPDATE:
Today the NFL announced that all week 2 games are cancelled.  The league is unsure if the games will be made up at a later date, or if this will be a 15 game season (Cocksocket says: we'll save these picks just in case).

09.08.01

Football season 2001!  This year I am picking to win.  I am picking every game, every week, and I am stating right now that I plan to end regular season with at least 70% accuracy.  If all goes well, and I do end up with a 70% or higher rating, I will become a bookie during the post season and take all bets from loyal Socket-heads.  Should my picks fail to reach the goal, I will sexually satisfy Loretta in a pay-per-view web special.

Exciting game of the week:
Miami at Tennessee

Dull game of the week:
Washington at San Diego

Sure bet of the week:
Seattle at Cleveland

08.31.01
The summer in a nutshell

Several sports related news stories have come to my attention over this waning summer.  I have listed them in no particular order.

1. Michael Jordon is mounting a comeback
2. The Little League World Series is in controversy
3. Formula One cars may now run traction control
4. NASCAR is falling in my list of interests
5. The WWF seems a little less fake
6. The upcoming NFL season 0L>

1. Michael Jordon has spent the spring and summer flip-flopping.  I will come back.  No wait, I never said I was going to come back.  Hang on, I am coming back.  Personally, I don't give a shit.  Come back, don't come back, who cares.  He will not be the same "Air Jordon".  He will be a 39-year-old man trying to relive his glory years and diminishing the public perception of him.  Now I know shit about NBA teams, however, if I were M.J. and wanted to try and make a return to basketball, I would definitely not test the waters to "see if I still have it" with the Washington Wizards.  Hell yes he feels like he's got it while playing with the likes of these underachievers.  Michael is free to do what he wants.  I find it sad that he can't let it go and intriguing that this "talk of returning" coincides with the downward spiral of NBA ratings as a whole.

2. Star pitcher from the Little League World Series, Danny Almonte, is 14 years old.  I understand why he should not be playing in the 12-year-old league, and I understand why the parents of the other players are upset.  But, Danny did still pitch a perfect game.  Even at 14 years old this is an incredible accomplishment.  Don't believe for a second that his 75 mph fastball was too fast for these 12 year olds.  These kids are the best in the country and 75 mph is the speed of the fast cage at my local batting cage.  I'm sure any one of the 12 year old players could hit it in the cage, why is it so wrong to ask them to hit it on the diamond?

3. Formula One cars are now equipped with traction control.  This is a similar system to that on the newer Corvettes.  When excessive yaw is detected the brakes are automatically applied in the opposite corner to correct the situation.  Some people are worried that this takes the skill out of driving.  One of the Speedvision announcers said it best "The traction control does not create new traction, it merely maximizes the traction that is available."

4. Has anyone else noticed how "flashy" the NASCAR broadcasts have gotten?  The year started out in the hands of FOX.  I enjoyed all of the FOX broadcasts and the new technologies they introduced.  When NBC/TBS took over at the halfway point, the broadcast now have a sort of XFL feel.  The announcers sit on the "War Wagon".  Clever. They all wear the official NBC/TBS NASCAR jackets that should not be viewed with the naked eye.  And they scream at each other.  Maybe someone in charge of the "War Wagon" could turn up the volume in the headsets so that the viewers are not bombarded with the ramblings of Benny Parsons.

5. Is anyone else completely mesmerized by the MTV show where they are trying out for the WWF?  Mrs. Matt and I watched a marathon a few weeks ago and could not tear ourselves away until the marathon had ended.  Neither of us is a fan of the WWF.  We both say it's fake and stupid, but since the marathon incident, I find myself flipping channels and watching WWF crap for more than a couple of seconds.

6. The NFL is already underway.  Pre-season ends this weekend and the regular season begins next weekend.  So far, no one team stands out as my Superbowl pick.  I will make that pick with the second week's picks.  I have been following the referee negotiations.  My feeling is this:  the men who are paid to keep the game fair should not be as grossly underpaid as the men who play the game.  If I am an NFL referee and making only $60,000 per year while the players are making nearly $60,000 per quarter, I am pissed.  The officials in all sports should make the league's minimum wage.  In the NFL that is $440,000 per year.

SEE THE LEGENDARY ARCHIVES
MATT'S SPORTS BEAT '00 - '01